My HIV Story

It was in 2021 when everything changed.
I was 26, and for the first time, I truly understood what it meant to not give up on myself - or on my life.

That was the year I was diagnosed with HIV.

I can say, without hesitation, that it was one of the most shocking moments I’ve ever lived through. I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know what to feel and I didn’t know where to begin.

We often think we understand what others go through.
We listen to their stories, we imagine how it might feel.
But being there yourself is something entirely different.

I never thought it would happen to me.
It always felt like a distant reality - something far from the life I believed I was living.
And then, suddenly, it wasn’t.

Over time, that moment began to change meaning.

What once felt like an ending slowly became something else.
A shift - a beginning I didn’t choose, but one I had to learn how to live with.

Living with HIV has been one of my greatest teachers.
It has shown me parts of life I didn’t know existed, both beautiful and difficult.

There were moments of fear, shame, disconnection, and rejection. Moments where I questioned myself, where I felt lost inside my own thoughts, but there was also something else, always present - even if quietly: hope.

As time passed, I started to see things differently.

Living with HIV began to mean more than just a diagnosis, it became a space where I found: connection, love, compassion, strength, empathy, understanding, respect. And most importantly, purpose.

I remember writing something in those early days:
“HIV would be a journey - one without an endpoint. The road would shift, the scenery would change, but the journey itself would go on.”

And that’s exactly what happened.
What is happening.
What will always happen.

Another thought stayed with me:
“We, people living with HIV, may be in the same ocean but we are never in the same boat.”

That understanding changed me.

It taught me that even within shared experiences, we all move through life in our own way, at our own pace and through that, I learned something important:
To honour my own story.
To live it fully.
And to allow others to do the same.

One of the greatest things this journey has given me is connection. Connection to myself, connection to others, connection to something deeper.

Through HIV, I’ve met people, heard stories, and felt a kind of understanding that goes beyond words.

There was a moment when I realised that sharing my story wasn’t just about helping others, it was also about setting myself free. Every time fear showed up - especially when it came to opening up about my status - I had a choice: stay in silence, or choose courage.

Little by little, I chose courage.
Living with HIV made me see how precious life is.

It made me understand that even in our hardest moments, we can still find meaning, we can still find direction, we can still rebuild. I don’t see my life as something that ended in 2021. I see it as something that changed - and continues to change.

And through that change, I’ve found something I didn’t expect: myself.
Because of that,
I keep going.
I keep growing.
I keep choosing to live fully.
I keep choosing love.

- With love, Phellipe

Courage over Silence

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